Tags
choices, discomfort, growth, learning, personal growth, professional development, professional growth, school
I made the decision to take an online class this summer. It was a carefully considered choice, one which would push me personally and professionally, and one that I knew would lead to growth in both of those areas of my life. I did not fully think about my discomfort with much of the class – the format, getting to know new teammates each week, and considering ideas that are far from my everyday experience at work or at play.
As I write this, I am exactly halfway through the course. I have met people I would never have met otherwise. I’ve entertained ideas about subjects I’d never heard of or read about. I was asked to consider questions and reveal aspects of myself that I typically hold on to tightly. It has been a great experience and a scary one as well.
As I reflected on this class and all that it entailed so far, I was reminded of what we ask of students each day. We ask them to be uncomfortable without fail, and often without giving them the choice to avoid this discomfort. We ask them to work with others who they don’t know, don’t like or who we know won’t contribute fully to the group experience. We ask them to speak up, listen well, be creative, get along with others at all times, and do a good job no matter the subject or their interest in the work. We ask them to be superhuman. Most of us, as adults, would not take on that challenge. Most of us would try to negotiate another way to do things or ask for assistance at every turn. Some of us might even opt out of an experience if it did not have some comfort and familiarity built in.
There are things we do each day that allow us to have choices, and some things we simply have to do. Children must attend school. Time in school can be spent in a variety of ways that involve student choice along with the “have tos.” How do we want students to spend their time in school and recall their days in school in the future? Will they remember the learning, challenges and enjoyment, or the intense discomfort and unknowns? Balance is the key to building the strength needed to learn and grow.
Recently, I was having dinner with a friend and her children, and the topic of bedtimes came up. I explained that my daughter and I would argue about bedtime when she was their age. She insisted that everyone in her school stayed up until after 10 p.m., and I unreasonably insisted she be in bed by 8:30. As many parents have experienced, she wore me down, so I said that I would no longer be in charge of her bedtime. She could stay up as late as she wanted as long as she could get herself up and ready for school and have the energy and positive attitude needed to not only make it through her school day but would also return home and be a pleasant member of our family. She stayed up until 11 p.m. the first night… and that was the end of the experiment. She discovered what I knew from years of watching her; she needed more sleep than many of her peers. She wasn’t rested unless she slept at least 9 or 10 hours each night. We no longer fought about bedtimes; she was in charge. I let her decide and honored her choice. We agreed on the limitations of the choices and I stepped out. As you can imagine, the boys with whom I shared this story were delighted to hear this (the parents not as much) and asked their parents to institute “Lisa bedtime” at their house. 